How Generosity May Help You Be Happier and Live Longer

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Many things make people happy, from eating foods to cashing checks. But alas, the more we experience some dose of pleasure, the less pleasurable the dose. This is what’s called hedonic adaptation––how the first bite of chocolate always tastes better than the last. How can we sustainably increase the well-being of the general population?

What about “being good by doing good”? Beginning in the late 1980s, reports began surfacing of the “helper’s high”—feelings of elation, exhilaration, and increased energy following selfless service to others––and then a period of calm and serenity. The “high” was thought to be like a post-intense-workout rush. Some are cynical about the helper’s high, arguing that helpers engage in faux generosity because of a selfish desire to feel good about themselves. As this author put it, “perhaps it’s no accident that these naysayers often seem selfish, grouchy, grumpy, testy, irritable…”. They deny themselves the positive emotional benefits that flow from helping others, and therefore miss out on the happiness and exhilaration that are part of the helper’s high.

Prosocial behavior, engaging in actions that benefit others, is considered a bedrock of society. Whether communities thrive hinges on the willingness of their members to cooperate with one another and help those in need. The central role of prosocial behavior is supported by research showing that infants as young as three months of age pay attention to the prosocial and antisocial actions of others, and strongly prefer prosocial people. There is also evidence that giving leads to happiness in young children. By age two, toddlers are happier giving away treats to others than receiving treats themselves. And if it’s their own treat they’re giving away, they become even happier! And, as we mature, spending money on others appears to promote happiness, whereas spending on ourselves may not.

For these cooperative behaviors to have continued throughout our evolution as a species, there must be biological mechanisms that sustain these prosocial actions, despite their inherent costs to us as individuals. When we display empathy towards others, we get a boost in the so-called “love hormone” oxytocin. Then, the high we get from that can get us to give more, in a virtuous cycle. In one study, people were infused with oxytocin or placebo, and were then asked to make a one-shot decision on how to split some money with a stranger. Those who had gotten the oxytocin were 80% more generous. Kindness may even affect us on an epigenetic level.

Could a four-week kindness intervention reduce the expression of a stress-related gene signature? Known as the Conserved Transcriptional Response to Adversity (CTRA), it is characterized by increased expressions of pro-inflammatory genes, and the immunosuppression we get from a flight-or-flight type of stress response. And indeed, those randomized to perform acts of kindness for others, rather than themselves, significantly reduced the expression of these stress genes.

So, could simple interventions lead to sustainable increases in our well-being? Apparently so. Something as small as remembering a time you bought something for someone else can make you feel significantly happier right after this recollection, and the happiness runs in a circular loop. Prosocial spending increases happiness, which in turn encourages prosocial spending. And, rather than getting tired of the same old thing, in this case being kind to others, people seem to be slow to adapt to the warm glow of giving. For five days, about a hundred individuals either got money to spend on themselves or give away to someone else. Those who got the money were all happy, but receiving the same amount to spend on themselves every day kinda got old over time. They started adapting to it. But those giving away the same amount experienced consistently higher happiness levels that did not significantly fade over time.

The benefits of giving to others appear universal across age, gender, and income, and even the skeptics, who didn’t think they’d be happier by giving, in fact ended up happier when they did. And cross-culturally, too. The well-being that comes from giving may be a “psychological universal.” Based on survey data from 136 countries, giving is associated with greater happiness around the world, suggesting that the reward experienced from helping others may be deeply ingrained in our human nature.

And the benefits may even extend beyond happiness. Conventional wisdom suggests that self-care or “treating oneself” is the best way to reduce stress and promote physical health. But evidence seems to show that outwardly focusing our efforts—prosocial behavior rather than being self-focused—may make us healthiest. For example, older adults who gave the gift of their time by volunteering at two or more organizations had up to five times lower mortality rates than those who volunteered minimally, or not at all. That’s a massive difference. And the significantly lower risk of premature death was found even after controlling for confounding factors like physical functioning, religious affiliation, or social support. So, instead of just hoping we stumble onto happiness, why not run right towards it with open arms—and do some good for the world, and ourselves.

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Motion graphics by Avo Media

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